World of One/ Solar System of Many

It has long been since my heart has had to wander, whether due to feelings of happiness or out of sheer neglect that my journey still exists. Once again I find myself on a path. That is what brings me to write down these traveled steps.

People often discuss what it would be like to be in the world alone. What if the world ends tomorrow? What if everyone disappeared and you are all that is left? However, in reality, are we not already in the world alone? Our journey is not traveled by anyone else. It is a life of solitude filled with decisions that bring us to or separate us from other people.

We, in ourselves, are our own world. You are Earth.  Within us lies our own gravitational pull that exists between the logic of the mind and the desires of the heart. The heart and the mind make use rise and fall like the day and night. Our seasons change based on which one is in control of our inner planet. The heart can bring the solitude and coldness of winter or the long warm days of summer. The mind can bring about sudden change and action like the burst of flowers in the spring or the beautiful turning of the leaving of fall. Although we are inhabited alone in our own planet, we are not alone in this universe.  It is our soul that connects us to other people like a solar system.

Unlike the selfishness of the heart and mind, the soul revolves around a particular type of happiness that connects us to other people, other planets. The heart and mind of an individual has their own climate, their own moon, their own gravity, but yet an individual will still circle the same bright sun of the soul as you; pulled into the same life search of happiness and contentment.

(What about when you have not yet learned happiness? Then you are but only a shooting star. Flying through solar systems to get a peek of what is out there. Not yet able to decide which sun to make your home. At this point in your journey in life, you are a beautiful glance, reminding planets that there is life outside of what makes them happy, but you can also be destructive if you come too close, threatening the existence of what has so masterfully grown into maturity and inner stability. Take caution to continue on your path of the balance between your heart and your mind but do not collide with the planets that are living for continued growth and prosperity.)

The human universe is built with many suns that support the lives of those who revolve around them. My own personal sun is large but is solely made of what is beautiful. It consists of a pursuit of the moments in life that my heart and mind are still and can become lost together in the simplistic yet intrinsic moments that occur organically. It is a sun made of nature and all of its glory; the quietness of the woods, the depth of a clear starry night, the challenge of the mountains, or the rush of a wave crashing to shore. It is a sun made out of sharing; the excited glance in someone’s eyes when they look at you to see if you just experienced the same wonderful thing they did, the laughter and love when discussing events of the past, the warmth in the touch of someone who wants to let you know you are loved, or looking at those you have known for years to see more beauty in them today, even after they have been worn from the battles of life. It is a sun made out of appreciation for art whether a pouring of written or spoken word, a complicated composition of melody and harmony, or a brush of color capturing a perception of the eye. For art is the opening of one’s heart to the world, it is allowing other worlds to peek inside your own without shame of judgment or ridicule. My sun, my soul, is a made out of the depths of all of the beauty humanity and nature can offer.

There are many people who revolve around the same soul that has snared my planet, but there are many people who find their soul pulled to solar systems drastically different from my own. It is finding what makes you happy and what sun you should revolve around where you can truly begin building life within yourself. To lose the tail of a shooting star and to find a sun fitting your planet is the moment when your world of one becomes a solar system of many. It is then that you begin to look beyond your own horizon and start to notice other planets that are visible in your night sky and realize you may be alone within yourself, but you are never alone within the universe.

Eternal Youth

As I approach 28, I drive ever closer to the dreaded third decade of life. This is when adulthood should grasp me by the ankles and shake the youth out of me. Not so I say. Why must we age internally? Now granted, there are lessons learned in the battles of a young life that make us wiser and less ignorant. We should certainly learn from our mistakes and grow, but that does not equate to the perception of adulthood.

Adulthood in our society generally equates to nights spent on the couch watching our weekly programming, lack of exercise, few excursions with friends as spare time is tied up with significant others and children and working the majority of our day away.

I reject the medicine of adulthood many try to prescribe. Why slow down? Maybe a jaded outlook on love and no desire for offspring has made my view of aging more progressive than society, but I think my adulthood has tapped into the fountain of youth.

I suggest holding onto the things in life that truly bring us joy; the friends who make us laugh with inside jokes and experiences worth our memory data space, the activities that entice our senses and keep us on our toes, our sense of humor for the misdirected emotions heaved upon us by overburdened peers, and our ability to not compromise on the things that really matter.

Far too often we let these passions of youth fall to the side in favor of the easy road; the road of leisure, monotony and without confrontation. Ask yourself why? Why do we settle for security instead of happiness? When you can evaluate your happiness and reset your life on a path of happiness instead of the path of least resistant, you’ve accomplish eternal youth, my friend. Hold onto your inner child, they will bring you joy and wonderment through times of trial and times of sadness.

Always smile in the face of turmoil and laugh at your enemies. No one can break you when you are emotionally fit and youthful. Enjoy life, friend. Enjoy!

Life's Lessons

As a child, I clung to Aesop's Fables and a book of fables from around the world. As a teen, I often turned to the book of Proverbs and collections of poetry to understand the universe I was emerging into as a young adult. I guess you could call me wise, but I believe most people learn wisdom in every experience they have. So today, like many other days, I pondered on the wisdoms I have learned in life. I also asked friends to tell me a lesson they have learned in the course of their lives.

Crappy Lessons:
1. Society continues to place heavy pressures on women to get married. Single women are treated as if they haven't been lucky enough to join the cool girls club. The older a woman gets, the more people will make comments that make her feel like a failure in love. However, men are looked at as successful bachelors who have escaped a beheading.
2. (in other words) Double standards will always exist.
3. Love becomes uneasy when not attended to.
4. People can not read minds.
5. There is little to no way to relive life carefree as a child. Jobs are never fun work and they are made to consume most of the hours you are awake.
6. Bring hand sanitizer everywhere, especially outdoor festivals.

Happy Lessons:
1. It is never too late to go after your dream. You are your only foe and you can choose to conquer yourself easily or stand in your own way.
2. Companionship in love is worth everything. The moments of feeling loved and wanted can be used to conquer any bad day.
3. Pets can fill your life with as much joy as a person.
4. You CAN pick your family. They may not be able to donate a kidney, but some people are meant to be in your life to shape and mold you as a parent, support you like a sibling or lean on you like a child.
5. Money is not happiness. Happiness is happiness and you decide what makes you happy. I personally find the most joy in spending time with others. It can be as free as an email to say hello.
6. Music can take you anywhere. Back in time to fond memories and emotions, into the future to dreams that you'd like to live, to seasons of cold or warmth, or places near and far.
7. Every human is looking to connect with others in some way. The human bond should be explored. Some of the most touching conversations I have are with random strangers.

Life Lessons from Others:
1. "Boobs are tuff."
2. "No matter what happens/happened today, there's always tomorrow."
3. "Rely on yourself and your faith.....nobody else."
4. "That you can get jail time for ripping the label off of a mattress & always wear clean underwear, heaven forbid you should have an accident."
5. "When men say "i was just kidding." They weren't"
6. "The slickest way to lie is to tell the right amount of truth at the right time, and then shut up."
7."I'm on vacation! I do what I want!"
8. "Don't iron clothes while wearing them!"
9. "cows look soft, but they are really really hard"

Wisdom can be born from lessons of pain or lessons of joy. Share your wisdom with other and ask them for their wisdom. You never know what you will wind up learning or the impact your experiences will have on others.

Grief is a sad farewell to something dear

At the news of a friend passing, I immediately went into grief mode. The tears flowed, my heart hurt and anger crept in. As the tears continued, thoughts of him and his wonderful soul took over the anger and questions that first went through my mind.

I looked online for an appropriate proverb to encompass my emotions and found many sad, sorrowful sayings that were fitting for my mood. Then I stumbled across a proverb that says, ‎"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." These words struck my inner most emotion. Why does one really weep in moment of intense sorrow? It is for the loss of the moments of happiness we've experienced in life. Knowing those moments have ended and life has forced a sudden change on us that we did not want.

This true is for any grievance of the heart, whether it is a loss of a friend, the ending of a dear relationship or a change that causes us to abandon the path we loved, like losing a job or moving from a hometown. The tears are not actually shed for any future possibility. Life will continue to move forward and new relationships, adventures and possibilities will continue to fill our hearts with gladness. Our pain is for the past. The memories of what were and the beauty in the moments we've lived.

Drying my eyes, I began to smile at the thought of his kind eyes, boyish grin and deep soulful conversations. The moments of grief will continue to creep in my mind in waves, but there is also celebration of who he was as a person. The joy he brought to everyone he knew. Thoughts to hold onto as sweet as the moments when they were lived.

I will continue to mourn the loss of things in life that end, but a new light on my sadness has beamed in my heart. I will combat my grief with joy and remember the "delight" that was once a part of my life.

Cutting the Safety Net

As children we have to ask permission before making a move, as adults we hold ourselves back because of morals, inhibitions, finances, security, being scared and numerous other excuses on why we shouldn't take risks, seek adventure, step outside of our comfort zone and open ourselves up to fail.

The 15th -17th centuries man kind set off on an age of exploration. People risked everything they had, life included, to set out and explore the world, find treasure, change their atmosphere. This fearless exploration enhanced society with knowledge and wisdom. We found the world was not flat, delicious spices and salts could make food a delicacy, and new nations were born. Somewhere we have become too eager to accept safe. There is very little land left to claim, but what about in our own lives?

This past week, as I sat around a table with friends and cocktails, we jokingly suggested jumping in a car and driving to New Orleans for the weekend. A day later, I was sitting in Cafe Du Monde eating beignets at 11 pm. There was no reason not to actually jump in the car and go. What did I miss? 40 degree temperatures, storms and flooding. What did I experience? 85 degrees, sunny, a food festival, many cocktails and random adventure.

We all have a bucket list, but why wait until you are on death's door to check it off? Jump on it. I have established a firm belief of living on a whim. Structure is great. Making sure all priorities are done is very important, but life isn't filled with musts. Musts become excuses.

A girlfriend once suggested that regrets aren't based off of the things we do, but the things we miss out on. I subscribe to that belief. Failure translates into experience and knowledge. Missed opportunity translates into regret. Cut the safety net and experience life!

Defining Oneself

I often find others inquiring the definition of myself; those little questions that ponder who I am behind the smile, witty comments and silly shenanigans. So it makes me wonder, what exactly does it mean to define oneself? To create definition of who you are beyond the external...clarify misconceptions, embody the essence of your id/ego? But how do you define yourself when human beings are far more complex than the single meaning adjectives used to describe them. We are all innately contrary individuals.

The description of myself highly depends on the situations I am going through at the moment, the mood I am in and how much or how little sleep I have had. I am a much more sinister individual after too little sleep or when first waking up. Don't judge me at those times or you may think my mother bore the anti-christ.

So, how would I describe myself? I am a vagabond spirit. My soul wonders from adventure to adventure searching for the beauty and good in this world. I am a deep thinker, as you will learn. I observe and pick apart the different situations I find myself in and the different people I meet. I like to get to the core of my excavations. I love with no abandon. I am not afraid of pain or hard work because there is wisdom in both. I am not one who can be defined as anything else but complex, intricate or contrary.

I hope you will enjoy the adventures my words will bring you as I journal my random deep thoughts about situations, emotions and people. I'm taking a journey and I invite anyone to come along for the ride.